佐藤さんの奥さん
「まあ、お宅の坊ちゃんおとなしいんですね」
木村さんの奥さん
「いいえ、内弁慶なだけですよ」
Uchibenkei
Sato-son no okusan:
Maa, otaku no botchan otonashii'n desu ne.
Kimura-san no okusan:
lie. Uchtbenfeei no dake desu yo.
Sato's wife: My, your son certainly is well-be-haved.
Kimura's wife: Not really. He's just that way when we're out. At home he's a little monster.
* * *
The many people who are timid in public but domineering at home are called uchibenkei, a word whose latter half is actually the name of the famous warrior-monk, Musashibo Benkei. It's a name familiar to all Japanese and I'm sure some of you have heard of him too. He is said to have lived at the beginning of the Kamakura period (1192-1333) when Japan was moving from the age of aristocracy into
the age of the samurai, to have been a monk based in Kyoto on Mt. Hiei very interested in martial arts, and, most importantly, Minamoto Yoshitsune's most loyal
assistant and retainer. His relationship with Yoshitsune is, in fact, often depicted in kabuki. All in all, he represents one of Japanese legend's most famous
strong men.
As in the conversation above, there are many people who are haughty and arrogant (benfeeOat home (uchi) but well-behaved and good-tempered in public.
"Uchi no feo totemo uchibenkei nan desu" ("Our child is a real tyrant at home") "Maa, de wa otaku de wa kappatsu nan desu ka" ("So he's really active when at home?") "Ee. Urusai kurai nan desu yo" ("Yes. Almost a real nuisance" ). Parents with such children probably need to rethink their method of parenting. It seems that when parents do everything for their children the children don't develop enough self-confidence to do things alone. Subsequently when they are outside the home they are passive and inactive. A mother visits her child's school and tells her husband about the visit: "Kazuo zuibun uchibenkei nan desu ne. le de wa kuku (multiplication tables) anna ni joozu ni ieta noni, gakko de wa te mo agenai'n desu yo" ("Kazuo is really quite a lion at home and a mouse abroad. Why even after being able to say his multiplication tables so well at home, at school he didn't even raise his hand"). Most Japanese learn how to multiply by the time they are second graders and obviously Kazuo's mother was dissapointed in his contradictory behavior (Kazuo-kun no uchibenkei na taido ni gakkari shita). She'd really thought he'd do well after all his loud practicing at home.
This kind of personality is, of course, not limited to children. Maybe even your husband (or wife) is uchibenkei. "le de wa anna ni ibatteiru noni, soto de wa otonashikute bikkuri shimashita. Uchibenkei na hito desu ne" ("Since he's so arrogant at home, I was surprised at his timidity in public. He must be one of those people who's tough only when the turf's his own"). Of course, all of us are more or less like this, though those who go beyond a certain point and up like Jekyll and Hyde with a double personality (nijuu jinkaku). As long as one is called uchibenkei it's OK. The trick is not to go beyond that point.
To be brought to a standstill, unable to move either ahead or back, is called benkei no tachiojo.
This comes from the story of the Battle of Koromo River where Benkei was said to have died while standing upright in the center of the bridge, halberd held firmly as a staff in hid right hand: Benkei no nakidokoro refers to the shin because it is said that even someone as strong as Benkei cries out in pain when kicked there.