先生「どうして、いつも授業に遅れてくるんですか」
生徒「私がいない方が、授業の能率があがっていいでしょ」
先生「へらず口をたたいて小ないで、早く席につきなさい」
Herazuguchi wo Tataku
Sensei: Doshite, itsumo jugyo ni ohurete kuru'n desu ka.
Seito: Watashiga tnai hoga, jugyo no nooritsu ga agatte ii desho.
Sensei: Herazuguchi wo tataiteinai de, hayaku seki ni tsukinasai.
Teacher: Why are you always late for class?
Student: But when I'm absent the level of the class goes up, doesn't it?!
Teacher: Enough wisecracking. Hurry up and take your seat.
* * *
Herazuguchi refers to people who have to have the last word and are thus always making snide remarks and spouting shallow theories. The student in the conversation, for example, could just as easily have said "Excuse me." Instead, with his cute remark, he angered the teacher.
Here in Yamaguchi there's a man "known as having a comeback for everything" (herazuguchi de shirareru hito) and I cringe everytime I meet him.
"Quietly enduring his snide remarks" (kare no herazuguchi ni damatte gaman shiteiru) because he's the head of a television station isn't easy. Many feel the same way.
My first run-in with him was at a lecture I'd been invited to deliver. I'd just begun to talk about "Women and Work" when he spoke up from the front row, "It's best for women to stay at home and take care of their husbands." And again, later, after I'd asked the audience, "Why do you think there are no women actors in kabuki or noh?" he'd come out with, "If it's noh you're interested in, there's a specialist sitting right here next to me." I was so upset by the time the lecture was over I told the sponsor the man shouldn't have bothered to come if he wasn't interested in what I'd had to say. The sponsor's reply: "Ano hito no herazuguchi ni wa minna nakasareteimasu" ("Everyone has a hard time with the way he has a comeback for everything"). "It seems to be a sort of hobby of his." "Ano hito no herazuguchi wo ki ni suru koto wa arimasen" ("Don't worry about all his snide remarks"). In any case, both what the man said and when he said it couldn't have done a better job of making people angry. He seemed to get better with practice!
My second encounter was at a party given by the television station where I'd ended up having to translate his speech into English. (Though I'd tried to refuse, a prefectural official had implored me to help out.) And as I'd expected, "kare wa mata herazuguchi wo tataita" ("he again had a comeback for everything"). "Your English is good. Why don't you stop being a college teacher and become an interpreter." I'd smiled sweetly and replied, "Thank you very much. If I get fired, I'll keep it in mind," though I'd really wanted to cry out, "Doshite sorina ni herazuguchi bakari tataku'n desu ka" ("Why do you always have to have some cute reply for everything? ").
Churchill is famous for having had a comeback for everything. Apparently, he would go to Parliament meetings having just been drinking whiskey.
Taken to task for this by a female MP, he is said to have replied, "My tipsiness will be gpne tomorrow, your ugliness will last a lifetime." Herazuguchi wo tataku hito ni wa kanaimasen ne (We're no match for a person who has a comeback for everything).