本村：うちの子供が最近、人見知りするようになりましてね。
佐藤：それは、知恵がついたしょうこですよ。人の見分けがつくということですからね。
Hito-mishiri
Kimura: Uchi no kodomo ga saikin, hito-mishiri suru yoo nt narimashite ne.
Sato: Sore wa, chie ga tsuita shooko desu yo. Hito no miwake ga tsuku to iu koto desu kara ne.
Mrs. Kimura: Recently, my son has become quite bashful in front of strangers.
Mrs. Sato: Oh, he's just getting wiser, you know, able to discriminate between people.
* * *
Hito-mishiri as a noun means "shyness." As a verb with suru it means to be afraid of strangers, to be bashful or shy. Until babies have developed some degree of intelligence, they aren't able to discriminate well between people. They seem to smile no matter who picks them up until one day they start to cry when someone they've never seen before comes near them. Kodomo ga hito-mishiri wo hajimeta (The child has started to become shy around strangers).
I remember a couple who had tickets^to a concert and so had hired a baby sitter to look after their child for the evening. Since the baby suddenly started crying and screaming when it saw the sitter, they had to stay home. Musume wa hito-mishiri ga kibishikute, kuroo shimashita (We really had a hard time because our daughter was so terribly afraid of strangers).
I have two daughters. Perhaps because my husband and I were nervous about how to bring up our first daughter, she was a very bashful child (totemo hito- mishiri suru kodomo datta). Our second daughter, however, was the opposite-mattaku hito-mishiri wo shinakatta (She was never shy around people she didn't know). Whereas the oldest always wanted me near by, our second daughter's gregariousness meant I was always worried she might go off with a stranger.
They're both all grown up now, though, and I needn't worry about either.
This expression can also be used about pets. A friend of mine has a Persian cat. It's all black with greenish eyes and acts like nobility. The first time I visited my friend, however, the cat ran off when it saw me. "Kanojo wa totemo hito-mishiri wo suru no yo (She's so shy around strangers)," my friend said as if she were talking about a human. These days, however, the cat unabashedly sprawls out in front of me, licking herself and generally ignoring me. Hito- mishiri shite ita koro no kanojo no hoo ga, zutto kawaikatta (She was much cuter back when she acted bashful and shy).
When used about an adult, the expression includes a touch of humor. Whenever my husband isn't with me at a party and I'm asked why we're not together, I reply, "Uchi no shujin wa totemo hito-mishiri suru hito na no (My husband is not very outgoing; he's quite bashful and shy)-Surrounded by so many women with professional careers, he wouldn't know what to say." With a bit of sarcasm, a friend chimes in, "Rare ga sonna ni hito-mishiri ga hageshii to wa shirimasen deshita ne (Why I had no idea he was so afraid of strangers). " To myself: Actually it's just that he'd rather relax at home with a glass of brandy. I'm afraid he's the last person I'd consider bashful or shy (Kare ga hito-mishiri suru hito da to wa, totemo omoenai).